WSOP Champion Jamie Gold Gets Sued

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WSOP monkey champion Jamie M. Gold is being sued for half his $12 million prize. Jamie got within inches of massive wealth, and was just about to jack in his job too, but now the briefcase full of cash is under lock and key again at the Rio. Jamie won't see a dime of his prize until this baloney lawsuit is thrown out.

The World Series of Poker may have refused Mikey the PokerShare.com Monkey permission to play in the WSOP Main Event, but that doesn't mean he's so bitter and twisted he doesn't know a blatantly phoney publicity stunt when he sees one.

"This kind of thing just makes me sick" said the PokerShare.com Chimp earlier today.

"I'm totally shocked the depths that some humans will stoop to, and for what? A bit of cheap marketing? A few bucks? I tell you, you'd never catch me and my buddies at PokerShare.com doing anything as low as this."

Speaking to his adoring public this morning, Mikey reiterated his total support for the WSOP winner, and soon to be bankrupt Gold. Ever since this messy lawsuit thing started, Mikey's trainer has had to make absolutely sure no-one mentions Bruce Crispin Leyser around him: whenever Mikey hears the name of the guy who's suing Jamie Gold for his hard-earned poker millions, he jumps up and down violently and throws stuff around.

In order to help Jamie feel better during what must be a very difficult time, Mikey has suggested they both get back to what they know and love best. Not blonde models, in this case -

"How about a Head-to-Head Hold 'em Tourney old school, head to head - no rebuys, no limit... old school, Jamie... the way it was supposed to be played."

Mikey has also issued a challenge to poker tournaments worldwide:

"Your decision to ban ape and monkey players is unconstitutional. In addition, it's a real drag for me and my chimp buddies. I'll say it again: Let me play... Or the Hellmuth gets it..."