Ooo I got what it takes

Leavin’ on a Jet Plane

Mikey the PokerShare.com Monkey packs his bags and leaves his Maryland home (on a jet plane.) He don’t know when he’ll be back again, and frankly, he don’t much care:

After all, he’s going to Vegas, baby. Yeah… Let the good times roll…

Bigger than Trump, Murdoch and Martha Stewart combined

Mikey’s onslaught on the world’s media has begun:
He's going to be a great big shining star. Oh yah.

Remember my Name

Being the proud owner of opposable big toes, adjusting to the limelight has been easy for Mikey: Incredibly, he is actually able to sign four autographs simultaneously.

Celebrities would kill for these skills.

You ain’t seen the best of me yet

Mikey would like to take this opportunity to apologize both to his fans and supporters, humans and primates, as his performance on Good Morning America was clearly not up to the high standard of poker he usually sets himself. We would like to offer the following explanation on his behalf:

Earlier that day, our hairy friend’s strict poker regime was rudely interrupted by Bertha, an orang-utan, challenging him to a game of Omaha Hi-Lo.

Whilst Mikey is principally a Hold ‘em-trained ape, he never can turn down a challenge from bigger, uglier primates (Phil Hellmuth Jr. being a case in point.)

Bertha busted him out of a wad of cash (including his stash from the Black-Eyed Peas gig he did – read more about this here.) Having bottled up his frustration for hours, and having lost his bankroll to a primate that looks like an extra from “Space Odyssey”, Mikey went on tilt.
Unfortunately for him, this happened in front of the cameras, with the eyes and hopes of a nation on him.

I got more in me and you can set it free

In conclusion, we offer the following explanations for Mikey’s below-par poker (on this occasion):

(a) The Bertha thing, obviously. Who, if they’re being totally honest, has never had this happen to them?

(b) Seeing the Good Morning America Presenter dealing cards with a flagrant disregard for the rules of any game of poker known to man (or monkey).

Give me time I’ll make you forget the rest

Finally, on behalf of the chimp himself, we’d like to say the following…

Your continued support for Mikey’s trail-blazing journey to the World Series of Poker is appreciated.

Yours Truly on Good Morning America

In my defence, I got thrown by the presenter's abysmal 'creative' dealing.

Also, I wasn't really in the mood for a major morning TV appearance.

You want me to spell it out?

Alright - I was hungover. So would you have been if you'd drunk that many banana daiquiris.

A Star is Born

Show me the Monkey

Following an intensive spell of poker training, nightly home games, and repeated watching of the film ‘Rounders’, Mikey is ready.

Ready for his entry to the main event of the WSOP, where he’s gonna psyche out his less evolved opponents.

Ready for fame, fans, and yes… even groupies.

Ready to eat some of the finest bananas known to humanity.

The Rumours are True

PokerShare.com is taking both online poker and primate research to new heights…

We are entering Mikey the Chimp to the $10k Main Event at the World Series of Poker. As the first primate competitor at the WSOP, there is a lot of expectation surrounding Mikey. A great deal rests on shoulders – not least the hopes and dreams of the entire ape community.

Luckily, Mikey’s shoulders are not just incredibly hairy, but also broad.

Whatever you fling at him, he can deal with.

But if you trash talk monkey poker players, he might just fling something back at you.

Important Scientific Research

Research into the ability of monkeys to ape human language has produced mixed results: from Washoe, who has mastered over 800 words in American Sign Language, to Nim Chimpsky (now deceased) who managed only 125 (example phrase: “Me Nim eat me”).

However, experiments regarding the gaming skills of monkeys are extremely limited:

We know, for example, that Kanzi (who has the spoken language skills of a 2½ year old human) enjoys a game of Ms. Pacman, but it would seem that his researchers have yet to introduce him to poker.

His sister Panbanisha on the other hand, also a resident of the Great Ape Trust of Iowa, “has a very high level of interest in creating musical constructions at the keyboard.”

Likewise, Mikey’s glittering career in the music industry has already seen him make the cover of a Black-Eyed Peas album - what a lucrative gig that was. Mikey isn't even a fan of the band, but like he says himself, "you’ve got to feed the monkey, right?"

Both PokerShare and Mikey hope to raise the profile of the Campaign for Equal Rights of Monkeys Worldwide, and to discover whether our thesis is correct, that

“A chimp is capable of playing poker at least as well as Phil Hellmuth Jr., if not better.”

Mikey's the name...

Good evening - my name is Mikey. I'm a chimp who likes nothing more than a good ol' game of poker. Im going to the World Series of Poker to make myself one rich son of a monkey. Ivey, Monkeymaker, Hellmuth you chumps are going to get trashed by a chimp.

Anyhow, the plan goes like this:

1) Win $12 million @ WSOP

2) Retire from showbiz (no more crappy fashion shoots/album covers - phew!)

3) Chill in custom-built jungle penthouse in St Maarten.

Sorted. How could my brilliant plan possibly fail?

See you at the Rio....im off to enjoy the sun and have me a cold beer...