Monkey News - Mikey gets Arrested

Dramatic Mikey Development
Walla Walla Airport Runway, WA, 05:37 Hours local time

In the early hours of this morning, Mikey the PokerShare.com chimp landed at Walla Walla International Airport, WA.
He had landed his private jet in order to fill up on fuel, local wines and to check out the the world-famous Walla Walla Sweet Onion he had heard so much about. He hoped to take his mind off the recent harrowing events which had seen his poker career torn to pieces.
Stepping off the plane into the clear and unpolluted Washington dawn, he took a deep breath: the shame and ridicule that had accompanied his recent ban from competing in the WSOP seemed distant at last... almost forgotten.
For the first time in days, he felt a genuine sense of joy, and even release from his Vegas-sized pit of gloom. Then and there, he decided to celebrate by jumping up and down repeatedly on the spot, and singing to himself.

High Drama
Walla Walla Airport Cafeteria, WA, 05:46 Hours local time

Mikey calmly perused the vast selection of wines and sweet Corsican onions available from the surprisingly well-stocked airport café. He was particularly taken by a fine-looking Grenache made at the Animale Winery, Yakima Valley.

"My Owner (and mom) is always saying how much she loves the Grenache grape. Maybe if I buy her a case, she'll love me again, and we can carry on our relationship as if Vegas never happened".

His reverie was rudely interrupted as Mikey saw his co-pilot Liam running towards the pre-fabricated structure of the café, his arms flailing, screaming unintelligibly.

"Shouldn't have had that inflight chicken" said Mikey to himself "should've stuck to the liquor like me."

The chimp was then slightly alarmed to see Liam drop, a tranquilizer dart sticking out of his now-partly-exposed ass.

"It's the Feds." said Mikey to the check out girl, laying down a wad of bills, and grabbing a box of wine and as many onions as his little hands (and feet) could carry.

Captured
Walla Walla Airport Ladies Washroom, WA, 15:41 Hours local time

Mikey was discovered, chained and arrested a full ten hours later, hiding in the disabled cubicle of the Walla Walla Airport Ladies Toilet.
State officials were only alerted to his whereabouts after, having subsided on wine and onions for several hours, an unnamed member of the public reported an unusually noxious stench emerging from the facilities.

Crimes Against Luxurious State Gambling Facilities

Washington State Penitentiary, Online Gambling Wing, 19:57 Hours local time

It is reported that Mikey has been incarcerated on the following counts:

1) Promoting Online Gambling
2) Online Gambling
3) Attempting to pilot a plane whilst not being a member of the human race
4) Previous count of defacing Washington State Gambling Facilities in 2003.

Mikey can't remember number 4, but apparently there are plenty of witnesses.

He faces a possible sentence of 27 years, which would mean he may spend the rest of his life behind bars.
The unfortunate ape has waived his right to a bail hearing (and thereby, allegedly, a fair trial) and will remain in the Washington State Prison's Online Gambling Wing, where former poker and casino players share cells, dining areas, and even showers with an array of violent psychopaths and pederasts.

PokerShare.com Stands Firmly Behind Chimp
Sorry, no pun intended, Mikey.

Everyone at PokerShare.com would like to offer their full support to Mikey, and to assure him that his new job as the face of both PokerShare and CasinoShare.com is not threatened by these developments.

So... Just to reiterate this: Mikey will not be fired.
And we support him wholeheartedly. That's right.

We are currently doing everything we can to get him out of jail, and back to his Owner and Mom, who has been worried sick and has already started sending him a multitude of food parcels.
When asked for comment on Washington State Prison TV, all Mikey had to say was the following:

"What a week."