PokerShare.com CEO
Jeffrey Pollack, Vice President of Harrah's Entertainment, has announced to the press that Mikey the PokerShare.com Monkey will not be taking part in this year's Main Event.
Hearing this, Mikey's initial reaction was one of disappointment and sadness. With his PokerShare.com baseball cap pushed down firmly over his eyes, he asked quietly to be left alone in his personal dressing room. Once there, it is reported that he reflected upon their decision, took a moment to meditate, and then gorged himself on bananas until he was violently ill.
Mikey's Mother Also UpsetMikey, the most intelligent primate this side of Poughkeepsie, has left an indelible and fragrant mark on the hearts and minds of America, with appearances on Good Morning America, Inside Edition, CBS, FOX News, and others too.
Thousands were rooting for him to enter the WSOP and earn the retirement money he requires to continue living with his trainer and mother, Judie Harrison. When Harrison heard the sad news last week, she broke down in tears, saying
"Mikey has been training for months and really had a shot at winning enough to live with me for the rest of his life. I can't believe they won't let him in. I take him everywhere and he is just like a human, and I am his mother: I am his everything."
Public Outrage at Chimp RejectionNot only were Mikey and his Mom upset. Chimp-loving members of the public were also sent into a tailspin by the Man's monkey rebuttal. Numerous poker professionals were also aghast, saying they had been very much looking forward to challenging Mikey to a game of cards. One Ultimate Bet pro poker player was quoted as saying
"If PokerShare.com was willing to put up ten thousand dollars for Mikey's seat in the WSOP, Mikey should have had just as much right to play as anyone else. I am outraged,"
Pro player Marcel Luske ('the Flying Dutchman') enjoyed playing against Mikey at a press conference organized by PokerShare.com, saying
"Mikey played quite a few good hands. After looking at his cards, he knew he didn't want to bet because he had a bad hand. He was more well behaved that a lot of other monkeys I've played against at these tournaments."
Mikey II - The Revenge of Mikey
PokerShare.com is standing firm in its support for the incredible chimp, as he tries to find a more open-minded tournament that will allow him to play. With the rapturous support Mikey has received so far, the odds are that tournament executives elsewhere will go all in for this poker-playing enigma.
To show our solidarity with the unfortunate ape, we are going so far as to make him the new face of PokerShare.com.
That's right - in his continuing mission to be taken seriously as a hardened, cunning poker shark, Mikey just got massive. He'll even be appearing in an exclusive blog, where he's gonna dish the dirt on the high life, the honeez, and of course, the Hellmuth.
When asked to comment on these developments, Mikey replied simply "I do bad things to good people."
Be afraid, people. Be very afraid.
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